Posted by: monsonmadness | July 16, 2011

Man sting

We had a nice treat to be invited up to a swimming pool at a really fancy house this weekend. I think that there are only a few swimming pools on the island, and we haven’t had too much success swimming in the ocean yet, so it was really fun for the kids. They had a great time splashing around and playing with the pool toys. Michael was having a good time admiring the architecture of this fantastic house and grounds when something very unexpected happened. He had been walking around the edge of the pool looking at the waterfall feature when a wasp attacked him and stung him. Michael freaked out, lost his balance and fell into the pool, fully clothed. The contents of his wallet needed drying out, and his new cell phone has died an early death.

Here is what I learned from this experience. 1. There is such a thing as a man sting.

You may have heard of a man cold, and if you have, you will understand this post. I remember being stung by a wasp in Kaysville a few months ago, and it hurt. I’m not denying that, but unless the wasps in American Samoa are on steroids and have deadly venom in them, I can’t imagine that the pain would be that different. Michael’s reaction however, was almost worthy of an Oscar. The phrase that I can remember him saying several times was, “it’s pumping me with poisonous death juice”. Really Michael? The irony of all of this is that later this afternoon at our house, poor Daniel was also stung by a wasp. True he screamed a lot louder than Michael when it happened, but he is only 5 years old. His reaction was shorter and not as dramatic. I tell you, there is such a thing as a man sting.

Here is the other thing that I learned. 2. I am the least compassionate person I know.

Many of you probably already knew this about me, but for some reason, I just find other people’s mishaps (when not serious) absolutely hilarious!!! I could watch people falling over on America’s funniest videos for hours. I have video clips of both my mother and mother in law falling over which I cannot watch without cracking up. I don’t know why that is, and it’s obviously not something that I should find joy in, but the honest truth is I find things like this so funny. Sometimes I laugh so hard that I cry or almost pee my pants. So funny that I can by lying in bed quietly and then I’ll remember some poor soul’s fall and burst out laughing. Michael thinks I am so strange when I do that.

Hope I don’t start thinking about it tomorrow in church and burst out laughing when it’s totally silent!!!


  1. Some men are a bit useless and over dramatic, so are some women. A lot of these traits that are supposedly ‘male’ are actually ‘human’.

  2. Man sting — I love it!

  3. I know all too well how you like to laugh at other people’s tragic falls!!! Man sting– hilarious!!!!!! I know Miles would be the same way!

  4. Oh my goodness, I seriously can’t stop laughing. Funny thing is, Spencer was stung by a wasp last summer, and he ran around the whole house screaming “Get it out, get it out!” I had to wait til he calmed down to let him know that there was no stinger in there. I couldn’t stop laughing either. Abby got stung the next day, and practically no reaction from her except for a few tears. Ahhhh…… sting……love it!

  5. So I’m dying to know, did you make it through church today like a good reverent girl? That picture of Michael makes me laugh (sympathetically of course) because he was probably so annoyed that in his moment of crisis there you were with the camera. Click!

  6. In defense of my good name and the reputation of men everywhere.

    A few clarifications, simply for the sake of accuracy. I did not “freak out.” I did not scream, cry, or ask for sympathy — I didn’t even ask for a towel when I crawled out of the pool — talk about tough. I was attacked by multiple wasps and in an effort to swat them away, I lost my balance on the eight inch wide edge of the pool I was standing on (while dredging the pool with the net to provide for a clean swimming environment for my wife and children) and lost my balance, falling in.

    The florescent yellow glow of the wasps here in American Samoa is significantly different than the wasps in Utah and does suggest that the death juice they contain is significantly more potent than their mainland cousins (I’m not ruling out that these are a more deadly genius and species — still researching that).

    My dear wife did not see anything and therefore does not qualify as a witness — she simply heard a splash and imagined what must have happened in her mind, merely for the purpose of her own self amusement.

    In that photo, she told me to make a sad face. Can I help it if I am a good actor?

    At the end of the day, I feel I was very brave, took one for the family as I was then able to keep everyone else away from the nest, and suffered two wasp stings — one on my calf which continued to burn for an unexpected long time. (I mention also, just in passing, that I didn’t even notice the sting on my foot until much later that day when I saw the red, swollen mark — I didn’t even feel it when it happened, which I believe it testimony enough to my amazing toughness, manliness, and tolerance for pain). I ask for no sympathy — and it’s obvious that I will receive none — I’m just glad that I was able to bring some happiness to my dear wife and 400 of her closest friends.

  7. Hey Helen, a pest control guy told me the other week that even in the UK there are some wasps (only in the country side) that carry arsenic in their stings. Its not enough to kill you but it could make you ill. I think Mitchael had the right idea.

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