Posted by: monsonmadness | May 12, 2012

Mother’s Day

I have a good friend who was diagnosed with cancer earlier this year. She has had surgery and radiation and is scheduled for more radiation in a few months. My friend is a working Mom with two small children. She is an amazing example to me and I learn a lot from her. She sent an email to me earlier this week, and these sentences stood out to me,

“I’ve never felt so tired but I’m doing great”

“The worst part was not being able to be around or hold the kids for a period of time. Awful!”

“I have learned so much this last year and all of it has been good learning experiences. I cannot believe how much our Heavenly Father and Savior loves us. I just cannot tell you how much better I know Them. I am just astounded by the Atonement and love surrounding us. Life is great! We are here to learn so much and I love that.”

Isn’t she amazing? Our babies used to spend a lot of time together, and when you hear about something like this, you often reflect and wonder whether you would handle things so well in the same situation. I am inspired by her testimony, and I know she has received blessings for her faithfulness.

I am grateful to know amazing women in my life who are wonderful examples to me. I thought it was appropriate to share a few excerpts from a talk that she just sent to me about mothers. She inspires me, and this talk also inspires me. I know I have a lot to work on, and I also know that there is a lot of joy to be found in mothering.

Happy Mother’s Day!

There is no one perfect way to be a good mother. Each situation is unique. Each mother has different challenges, different skills and abilities, and certainly different children. The choice is different and unique for each mother and each family. Many are able to be “full-time moms,” at least during the most formative years of their children’s lives, and many others would like to be. Some may have to work part-or full-time; some may work at home; some may divide their lives into periods of home and family and work. What matters is that a mother loves her children deeply and, in keeping with the devotion she has for God and her husband, prioritizes them above all else.

I am impressed by countless mothers who have learned how important it is to focus on the things that can only be done in a particular season of life. If a child lives with parents for 18 or 19 years, that span is only one-fourth of a parent’s life. And the most formative time of all, the early years in a child’s life, represents less than one-tenth of a parent’s normal life. It is crucial to focus on our children for the short time we have them with us and to seek, with the help of the Lord, to teach them all we can before they leave our homes. This eternally important work falls to mothers and fathers as equal partners. I am grateful that today many fathers are more involved in the lives of their children. But I believe that the instincts and the intense nurturing involvement of mothers with their children will always be a major key to their well-being. In the words of the proclamation on the family, “Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children”

We need to remember that the full commitment of motherhood and of putting children first can be difficult.  There are moments of great joy and incredible fulfillment, but there are also moments of a sense of inadequacy, monotony, and frustration. Mothers may feel they receive little or no appreciation for the choice they have made. Sometimes even husbands seem to have no idea of the demands upon their wives.

Recognize that the joy of motherhood comes in moments. There will be hard times and frustrating times. But amid the challenges, there are shining moments of joy and satisfaction.

Author Anna Quindlen reminds us not to rush past the fleeting moments. She said: “The biggest mistake I made [as a parent] is the one that most of us make. … I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one picture of [my three children] sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages six, four, and one. And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night. I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less” (Loud and Clear [2004], 10–11).

Elder M. Russell Ballard, Daughters of God

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Responses

  1. Great article. I love being a mother. Best wishes to your friend.


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